How to know your loved one is addicted

Addiction is a complex disease with the capacity to disrupt relationships among families and friends. Often, many people find it challenging to tell that their loved one is addicted until much damage has been done.

When you can tell that your loved one is addicted, it becomes easy for you to assist them in getting help so that they can break free of their addiction problem.

Here are some ways to know when your loved one is addicted.

Loss of interest in previously-enjoyed activities

One of the ways to know that your loved one is struggling with addiction is when they don’t find some activities as interesting as they used to.

You will discover that they no longer want to do activities that they enjoyed in the past. This is because their present addictive habits has captured their interests, and they cannot substitute it for anything.

They become less-productive

Another way to know that your loved one is addicted is when they are not as productive as they used to be. You will discover that they find it hard to meet up with important obligations like before.

In their workplace, they will receive queries because of their drop in performance. Some of them might be forced to resign because they are not meeting expectations.

Being secretive

Generally, addictive individuals are always secretive. The primary reason is because they don’t want other people to find out that they are addicted.

Therefore, they would prefer to remain isolated by not carrying other people along with their activities. They will keep secrets, and behave in an unusual way that you’re not used to.

Memory loss

Another prominent feature of addiction is memory loss. The individual might find it hard to remember events, incidences, conversations, etc. This is more likely to happen if they are dealing with substance addiction instead of behavioral addiction.

When you find out that your loved one is addicted, encourage them to seek help from a reputable addiction treatment center.

You need to do your research well to ensure the addiction center is poised to restore your addicted loved one on the sobriety path.


How to be selfless to your addicted loved one

When your loved one is addicted, it might be difficult for them to be on the same page with other members of the family.

Remember that family members have conflicts with one another, it becomes worse when one or more are addicted.

When some members of the family are struggling with addiction, it can become difficult to help them because they always feel ostracized and stigmatized.

Therefore, one of the ways to show them that you care and you want them to get better is to be selfless.

Here are some tips to display a selfless attitude to your loved one

Don’t condemn them

If you condemn an addicted person, it might be difficult for you to help them. They will continue to keep their distance because they know that you might keep condemning and blaming them for their inactions.

Instead of condemning them, it is best to let them know that you don’t blame them for their addiction. Inform them that anyone can get addicted and that what matters is that they get better.

If you don’t condemn them, you are likely to have a greater chance of seeking help for them, with their cooperation.

Don’t avoid them

Another way to be selfless to your addicted loved one is to stay around them and not avoid them.

The mistake some family members make is avoiding their addicted loved one, and leaving them to sort out their problems themselves.

It is important to be present in your loved one’s life more than ever, this will give them the hope that they can get better.

Encourage them that they can get better

Your addicted loved one needs all the help they can get to believe that they will get better. You need to tell them that with their cooperation, their addiction problem can become a thing of the past.

When you keep encouraging your addicted loved one, it becomes easier for them to pull through with the whole addiction treatment process.


THE CONCEPT OF SELFLESSNESS

Selflessness simply means the quality of unselfish concern for the wellness and good of other people. This means that you have a genuine interest in how they are faring and the likes.

Someone who is selfless does not put himself first. Rather, he would be concerned about others before thinking about himself.

If a selfless individual is in a group and there is a project to be undertaken, the individual would contribute his full quota without thinking of any inconvenience. They would act with less concern for themselves and show more interest in the success of the group.

Interestingly, selflessness is a vital key to relationships, friendships, marriages and the likes. It is also a pivotal key to fulfillment and happiness. However, people often overlook this concept because they feel in seeking fulfillment and happiness, selfishness steps in.

We live our lives for a good number of reasons; it could be for selfish reasons like reputation, fame, money, possessions and the likes.

Also, we can live our lives in pursuing justice for others, happiness for people, growth and a whole lot. In fact, we can live our lives basically to handle the problems in this world.

Embracing selflessness is the only way to find long-lasting significance in the world. Without selflessness, it would be difficult to achieve inner peace which we all crave for. For some people, success is defined for them when they have more power over those around them. This is why some individuals would continue to chase power for a very long time.

However, they fail to realize that the power and happiness chased selfishly do not last for long; they fade out with time. The fact is nobody loves to be attracted to selfishness, and that’s why people shy away from those who exhibit that character.

In helping people get back on their feet from addiction and mental health problems, it is important to exhibit selflessness towards them.


DISPLAYING LOVE TOWARDS YOUR ADDICTED LOVED ONE

The primary need of someone who is addicted is love; this is what encourages them to fight their addiction problem.

Alas, this is not the case in most situations, people do not see a need to show love to people who are addicted, because they do not want to be identified with them. Little did they know that, they are inadvertently aiding them to dig their grave.

Based on studies, those who are shown love when they are addicted would most likely agree to be treated, than those who are treated with prejudice. Showing love to this set of people shows that you care and you want the best for them.

Even though they do not agree with your point of view at first, initially they would accept and they would be grateful for it.

In a family where there is an addicted member, not everyone might be cool with the reality that one of them is addicted. Hence, there would be different reactions towards that person.

The same also applies to a group of friends. If one of them is addicted, not everyone would be free to relate with that person. And if care is not taken, the group might split up.

In most cases, the common types of addictions that are responsible for such friction among loved ones is substance addiction- drug and alcohol addiction.

When the person eventually opts for addiction treatment, the love shown towards him or her should not end there.

The counselor who would be the first point of contact at an addiction treatment centre, would facilitate several meetings between the counseling team, the addicted individual and their loved ones.

Love is important when dealing with health-related problems. Psychologically, it helps an individual to look forward to getting better, and reuniting with their loved ones.

When love is not displayed, there is a likely chance that the individual would not want to seek treatment, thereby resulting in further adverse health complications.


HOW AGAPE IS LINKED TO ADDICTION HEALING

Agape is a Greek word which basically means selfless love. It should be noted that this kind of love, is different from romantic love or other forms of love. The Bible describes agape love as the purest and sincerest form of love. When you compare Agape love to other types of love, you would see that it is indeed the best kind of love.

Naturally, selfless love is perpetual and unselfish. When you selflessly love another person, it means that you have decided to leave your desires and needs aside, and attend to theirs. This is the perfect kind of love.

Now, taking a look at addiction healing or recovery, you would see that people usually invest a lot into ensuring that they fix any problem which is related to their mental health, so that they can achieve inner peace.

In addiction healing, putting yourself before others, ensures that all forms of selfishness which are attached to all your problems, would be managed. Selflessness is the best personal form of addiction recovery.

Exhibiting agape is very advantageous in the process of addiction healing, as it helps to ensure that the mental health of a person is restored and the individual is as good as new. When it comes to mental disorders and addiction, it can be said that, their actuality is not the doing of the addict. Rather, the individual in question is a victim, who from time to time, aims to satisfy himself, irrespective of the fact that it could have adverse effects.

When mental disorders and addiction are left untended to, they have the capacity to cause isolation to the person who is hooked on them, as they would be compelled to only think about themselves, rather than others. They would not want the influence of other people around them.

With time, it becomes more severe, and the individual becomes very lonely, and suicidal thoughts could begin to set in. The addiction process can be said to be staged; there is always an ultimate end which is death. If ample care is not given to the individual, it could result in death.

Hence, the practice of Agape comes in handy, and it goes a long way to securing the mental health of an individual, and helping them break free from addiction.


SELFLESSNESS – A THERAPEUTIC RELIEF FROM ADDICTION


Addiction in most times is associated with secrecy and greediness. For a person to be engrossed in an addiction, it has to be that the person is being secretive about life issues, to the extent that there is no check to such act from friends and family. Secrecy in itself can happen as a result of self-centeredness. Some people do not feel the need for people to benefit from what they have or what they do, whether good or bad, because they see everything they engage in as being private, and as such they should be done alone.
Addiction and selfishness are two different state of being; however, they have some facts in common which makes them able to work hand in hand. It is important to understand the intricacies and rudiments of these two aspects of life to manage them or even overcome them.
The thin line between addiction and selfishness
Selfishness is a trait that nourishes addiction. Addiction is one of the deadliest behaviors that exists in this present age; it categorically has no reasonable benefit to the perpetrator, all it does as it creeps into the person’s life, is to damage the person’s character, image, integrity, relationship and physical health. When a person is selfish, it directly or indirectly rubs off on all other aspects of the person’s life.
The knowledge of the privacy, pleasure, and satisfaction that one can derive from shutting out oneself from the rest of the world, creates a level of gratification that is capable of aggravating into addictions. When all that a person longs after is to satisfy his or her own personal self, such person is prone to getting obsessed with any thing, since the entirety of the person’s recourses, energy, and time is being channeled towards self satisfaction.
Self therapy for escaping from selfishness and addiction
Both addiction and selfishness are psychological problems, and as such they require psychological solutions. In dealing with addiction, selfishness should also be dealt with, because they work hand in hand to make each other survive. The direct opposite of selfishness that is capable of eradicating it should be selflessness. By the word selflessness, we do not mean that people should not take thoughts of their own self, but there should be a point of balance.
A deliberate effort to exempt oneself from selfishness is one shot enough to deal with addiction. For an addict to gradually stay away from addiction there is a need for such person to start putting the interest of other people at heart, to reduce the time and money that is being consumed on his or herself.`


Addiction and Selfishness

addiction selfishness

Addiction and selfishness are two things that go hand in hand. In some ways they can be considered the same thing. It is impossible to be addicted and not be selfish. Likewise, selfishness is its own kind of addiction, one that craves self gratification. Addiction and selfishness are inherently two distinct, separate things, but many of their facets are identical. It is important to understand why these two states of being so closely resemble one another in order to defeat both of them.

It is true that addiction is a form of selfishness. Addiction does not do any good in the world. It has one purpose, and one purpose alone: to gratify its perpetrator. It does not enrich the person’s life, help them grow as a person, nourish them on any level or contribute anything else positive. In fact, rather than do any good, addiction deteriorates a person’s life out from under them. It destroys their character, damages their relationships, hurts their reputation, makes them unavailable to their commitments and obligations and hurts their physical health. Addiction is a totally self serving endeavor.

Selfishness is certainly its own form of addiction as well. We are all familiar with what it is like to be selfish. Selfishness can feel very gratifying. It gives us a sense of control and escape when we desire it. Knowing that we can turn to things that make us feel good and allow us to shut out the rest of the world gives us pleasure. And while it is true that people should be allowed to escape into pleasureful things within moderation, the danger is how easily one can reside in their selfishness and not want to come out. Selfishness is addictive for those who are weak in character.

In order to eradicate selfishness, one must eradicate addiction, and vis versa. The process of growth toward healthy, balanced, selfless ways is a gradual one. Selfishness and addiction are both deeply ingrained patterns that are rooted in a person’s psychology. Transitioning out of them does not mean that one can never care for or think of their self. It simply means that they need to learn to initially separate themselves from addiction and selfishness, and ultimately moderate the self interests and pleasures they allow into their lives.

https://youtu.be/NAMvIiv1O_k


Selflessness and Atonement

selfless loveSelfless love is a condition that betters everything around it. Agape means selfless love. It blesses the lives of people through its compassionate nature and improves the quality of existence through its service. Practicing selfless love is not only good for everything around you. It is good for you as well. Arguably, there is nothing better for people than practicing selfless love. It is everyone’s better nature, and practicing it does for the heart and the mind what years of therapy sometimes cannot do: it makes a person whole.

The value of humility is taught through selfless love. A humble spirit is a noble one. Anyone who thinks they are too good for any type of service to others can afford to learn more humility. Humility is an understanding that every person is equally valuable and therefore deserves equal amounts of service, support and blessings from others. Exercising selfless love and giving to other people without expectation is what builds the virtue of humility.

Selfless love is character building. It teaches a person the ethic of hard work, compassion, generosity, strength and selflessness. By serving someone else purely for the purpose of seeing them thrive and be blessed, you will in turn be blessed yourself because selfless love comes with the reward of peace and satisfaction. You will be a better person for having exercised selfless love.

Giving to others selflessly is the truest way of expressing your care for them because it is a type of giving that is not expected from people. Selfless love truly makes the world into a better place, and there is nothing more redemptive than this contribution. It is done voluntarily without requirement. It makes the person on the receiving end of the selfless love feel special and cared for, lifting their spirits and inspiring them toward their better altruistic nature. It also accomplishes things that would otherwise not get done – acts of charity and service such as helping people who are unable to help themselves. Everyone benefits from selfless love.


The Meaning of the Word Agape

agape meaningThe word “agape” is Greek in origin, and is found in many places in the original text of the bible. This unique word, when translated to English, means selfless love. Throughout the bible, there are different words used in different instances of talking about love. There is not one blanket term used to describe all forms of love. There is a word for romantic love, there is a word for familial love and agape is the word for selfless love. Studying the bible will reveal to you that “agape” is referred to as the truest and purest form of love.

When comparing agape to other forms of love, one can see why it is considered the truest form of love in the bible. Romantic love is fiery and passionate, but it tends to be self-serving. Romantic love easily takes the course of a lover focused on what their significant other can do for them rather than on how they can serve and bless their lover. Familial love is the kind bound by blood and familiarity, but it can come with some fierce emotions that work against love, such as anger and pride. Selfless love is by nature both permanent and altruistic. To selflessly love someone is to put their needs and their desires before your own. This kind of love is perfect, not fleeting, fickle or deterring.

What agape looks like between people is service. When you agape someone, or love them selflessly, your focus shifts from your needs to their needs. Your joy comes from seeing them happy and fulfilled. This means you will put effort into their well being. You will pick them up when they are down. You will provide for them when they cannot provide for themselves. You will go out of your way to bless them even when there is no occasion. You will even lay down your life for them. Agape is the key to world peace, yet it is the rarest form of love to find because people are inherently selfish. In order to achieve a state of agape, one must literally leave behind their selfishness. It is the opinion of this blogger that this is only possible with God’s help as it requires a supernatural amount of selflessness.


Making a Recovery through Altruism

recovery and altruismAltruism, or selflessness, is a quality that greatly benefits the world. However, the benefits to the person exercising selfless love should not be overlooked. People invest fortunes into fixing their mental health problems and trying to achieve perfect peace, all the while the truest path to peace and to becoming whole is through serving others. Putting others before yourself is the only way you can reverse the selfishness that holds you to all your problems. Altruism is a personal form of recovery through the following means:

  • Selfishness to selflessness. Practicing selfishness in life is a dead end road. It breeds isolation and hardheartedness and has no meaningful reward. Changing this practice to selflessness will bring warmth, relationship and the most meaningful kind of reward to your life.
  • Self seeking to service. Self seeking motivation inspires people to only protect their own interests, where as being in the service of others means opening one’s heart to them and meeting a need of theirs voluntarily.
  • Blessing yourself to blessing others. When a person is only looking to bless themselves with good fortune, they become stingy and self absorbed. Putting thought into blessing others makes you a better person and inspires those blessings to ripple out further into the world.
  • Subjectivity to objectivity. Altruism is a form of objective thought because it looks outside the self to gain perspective. Being self serving is very subjective because it keeps a person locked in their own head. Altruism inspires a growth in perspective by placing empathy outside of the self.
  • Self focus to focus on others. Being self focused only protects your own interests and only makes you look into the things that you require. This is not a virtuous way of being. Altruism requires you to shift your focus to other people and helps you be a better person by practicing selflessness, which is valuable, rare and effective in our world.
  • Closed off to open. Being self serving makes you closed off to the perspective of others, which hurts them as well as you. Practicing altruism will open you up to new perspectives, relationships, life lessons and personal reward.